(no subject)
Dec. 18th, 2007 | 02:28 am
It seems to me that a healthy dose of cynicism is needed to help you get through life without getting completely raped by whomever is bigger, stronger, or wearing a more disarming smile. Sure, we'll all rape others at least once or twice in our own lifetimes and some of us will get more than our fair share of it up our butts. But considering how thoroughly and irreversibly screwed up the world seems at times, I'd say that getting raped from time to time may not be completely negative. I mean, you get pushed down once too many times and you start to fight back, right? It's either that or you roll over, play dead and hope that this raping will go more gently. And once you start doing that, you're destined for a life of taking everything up your ass. So, you go and enroll in self-defense, adopt a bad-ass attitude (pun intended) and wear steel-toed boots to show the next mother-daughter-father-son-dog-corpse-fu
I've considered both actions, and frankly, I'm more for raping than being raped. I've been in both positions before, and I have to tell you that I like being a 1 much more than being a 0. So, this is my declaration of independence from victimhood, this is my coming out and getting up statement: World, watch your ass, because I've had enough of taking things up mine.
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McBrinee Bits
Nov. 6th, 2007 | 10:36 pm
After the TAs have been introduced to us and have both left the class...
"What did you think about them?" *Smirk* "They're gone, you can tell me the truth... No, but seriously, we're really lucky! They are great TAs; U of T's Medieval Studies program is very selective...issues very rigorous tests, to say the least... You couldn't have asked for better TAs, really, well...unless I was a triplet." *Beams*
On memorizing personal pronouns:
"What you really need to know for reading poetry is the third person pronouns. You need to have that down, at least. So record yourself saying it, put it on your iPod, and listen to it when you're on-the-go." *People laugh* "I don't listen to personal pronouns...I don't do that." *Quietly but proudly* "I listen to Chaucer."
Reading from the textbook:
"And now the next section.... One Last Wrinkle...? *Gives text a look of utter disgust* What the...this...is just...a...riDICulous title.
On his vacation:
"So at the time, I had had it with my Old English thesis. So to get away from all of that, I went on a relaxing trip with my wife! Where did I go? BEDE'S WORLD!" *Shows pictures of Bede's World on screen* "This looks like a shack, but it is actually the historical site in Jarrow where the Venerable Bede was believed to have lived 1300 years ago!" *Points to wooden chair in picture* "And that is the chair that Bede may or may not have sat upon!"
On memorizing OE grammar:
"You really just have to learn it. Old English is a very ambiguous language, much more so than other ancient languages (and he would know because he knows about seven ancient languages...). And you're going to need to know it for next semester, when we go on to read poetry. Or else, after Christmas break, it's just going to PUNCH-YOU-in-the-STOMACH!!" *Punches air and displays excessively cheerful grin*
Most of the time you just had to be there to see the humour in the things he says. He just has the funniest expressions and body language. Anyway, I hope that gave you at least a little giggle. Happy Midterms! :P
* * *
OK. WOW.
I just heard uttered on late night radio:
A middle-aged man on his girlfriend
"She has brought the colours of love back onto the palette of my heart and together we will make a masterpiece of love."
I've never heard anyone talk like that other than Michael Scott from The Office. Really, he just said that entire sentence without any pauses. It's not my taste, although nonetheless sweet...but wow...wow...
What do you say to that?...
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離思
May. 29th, 2007 | 02:38 am
曾經滄海難為水
除卻巫山不是雲
取次花叢懶回顧
半緣修道半緣君
元稹
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re-visiting revising re-constructing destroying restoring reclaiming
May. 28th, 2007 | 11:00 pm
* * *
move until strength gives out
love until you are no longer sure
fight for as long as it takes
struggle until pain makes sense
or
until you can't
die a thousand deaths a hundred thousand deaths a million countless deaths until you can't remember anymore what hate is until boundaries are no longer clearly drawn between you and i until we are human once again
until we are united again
let your tears fall until you find a reason not to cry
let them fall long enough to be caught
scream until your inner pain comes out: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKK
shout until your inner love comes out
and you know
everything will be alright
* * * * * *
thank you for being with me for so long
* * **
*
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(no subject)
Oct. 12th, 2006 | 12:30 am
Sable trunks glide by. Their yearning arms reach ever skywards, dotted with flickering gold, shining in night's embrace. Cool, clean air fills my lungs, lifts my heart, and falls out--melting with it every thought, worry, doubt and fear. I am clear. As the wind comes, I stop. My heart pounds in my throat. A smile comes to my cheeks; a laugh breaks loose. All the air in my body is spent with this laugh. I breathe in relief and watch as the wind envelopes me--as the leaves twirl and float, as they fall and rise again, veiled by the moonlight in the sweet, lonesome darkness.
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(no subject)
Sep. 23rd, 2006 | 01:21 am
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(no subject)
Feb. 11th, 2006 | 10:40 pm
mood: ouch
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Diane Arbus
Feb. 10th, 2006 | 01:58 pm
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(no subject)
Nov. 1st, 2005 | 05:37 pm
avix dressed as the Archbishop of Asmeecat.
backpains dressed as Barbra Streisand.
comfortblepants dressed as David Beckham.
exasperatedsigh dressed as a cigarette.
fey_esmeraldine dressed as a sub-adjunct sheet spreader.
jellyb dressed as a witch.
katiepuff dressed as Franklin D. Roosevelt.
myanthem dressed as a cow.
ninebythree dressed as Bugs Bunny.
owenadamowen dressed as a sword.
painisuniversal dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
paper_mate dressed as Barbra Streisand.
selfsolace dressed as a bottle of Caninza.
skittle_kitten dressed as Michael Vick's father.
sorou dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the World of Strength.
space_machine dressed as a peanut.
tangerinefield dressed as a convenient goblin.
teflonheart dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Slimy Burgerhumperdinck".
the_long_road dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Pesty Hunter.
to_subsist dressed as your aunt.
v_ersu_s dressed as Bill Clinton, though it looked more like the Archbishop of Tarblatoid.
wonderboy_frost dressed as Captain Picard from "Star Trek".
Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense
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(no subject)
Oct. 30th, 2005 | 01:52 pm
Wislawa Szymborska – Nobel Lecture
Nobel Lecture, December 7, 1996
The Poet and the World
They say the first sentence in any speech is always the hardest. Well, that one's behind me, anyway. But I have a feeling that the sentences to come - the third, the sixth, the tenth, and so on, up to the final line - will be just as hard, since I'm supposed to talk about poetry. I've said very little on the subject, next to nothing, in fact. And whenever I have said anything, I've always had the sneaking suspicion that I'm not very good at it. This is why my lecture will be rather short. All imperfection is easier to tolerate if served up in small doses.
Contemporary poets are skeptical and suspicious even, or perhaps especially, about themselves. They publicly confess to being poets only reluctantly, as if they were a little ashamed of it. But in our clamorous times it's much easier to acknowledge your faults, at least if they're attractively packaged, than to recognize your own merits, since these are hidden deeper and you never quite believe in them yourself ... When filling in questionnaires or chatting with strangers, that is, when they can't avoid revealing their profession, poets prefer to use the general term "writer" or replace "poet" with the name of whatever job they do in addition to writing. Bureaucrats and bus passengers respond with a touch of incredulity and alarm when they find out that they're dealing with a poet. I suppose philosophers may meet with a similar reaction. Still, they're in a better position, since as often as not they can embellish their calling with some kind of scholarly title. Professor of philosophy - now that sounds much more respectable.
But there are no professors of poetry. This would mean, after all, that poetry is an occupation requiring specialized study, regular examinations, theoretical articles with bibliographies and footnotes attached, and finally, ceremoniously conferred diplomas. And this would mean, in turn, that it's not enough to cover pages with even the most exquisite poems in order to become a poet. The crucial element is some slip of paper bearing an official stamp. Let us recall that the pride of Russian poetry, the future Nobel Laureate Joseph Brodsky was once sentenced to internal exile precisely on such grounds. They called him "a parasite," because he lacked official certification granting him the right to be a poet ...
Several years ago, I had the honor and pleasure of meeting Brodsky in person. And I noticed that, of all the poets I've known, he was the only one who enjoyed calling himself a poet. He pronounced the word without inhibitions.
Just the opposite - he spoke it with defiant freedom. It seems to me that this must have been because he recalled the brutal humiliations he had experienced in his youth.
In more fortunate countries, where human dignity isn't assaulted so readily, poets yearn, of course, to be published, read, and understood, but they do little, if anything, to set themselves above the common herd and the daily grind. And yet it wasn't so long ago, in this century's first decades, that poets strove to shock us with their extravagant dress and eccentric behavior. But all this was merely for the sake of public display. The moment always came when poets had to close the doors behind them, strip off their mantles, fripperies, and other poetic paraphernalia, and confront - silently, patiently awaiting their own selves - the still white sheet of paper. For this is finally what really counts.
It's not accidental that film biographies of great scientists and artists are produced in droves. The more ambitious directors seek to reproduce convincingly the creative process that led to important scientific discoveries or the emergence of a masterpiece. And one can depict certain kinds of scientific labor with some success. Laboratories, sundry instruments, elaborate machinery brought to life: such scenes may hold the audience's interest for a while. And those moments of uncertainty - will the experiment, conducted for the thousandth time with some tiny modification, finally yield the desired result? - can be quite dramatic. Films about painters can be spectacular, as they go about recreating every stage of a famous painting's evolution, from the first penciled line to the final brush-stroke. Music swells in films about composers: the first bars of the melody that rings in the musician's ears finally emerge as a mature work in symphonic form. Of course this is all quite naive and doesn't explain the strange mental state popularly known as inspiration, but at least there's something to look at and listen to.
But poets are the worst. Their work is hopelessly unphotogenic. Someone sits at a table or lies on a sofa while staring motionless at a wall or ceiling. Once in a while this person writes down seven lines only to cross out one of them fifteen minutes later, and then another hour passes, during which nothing happens ... Who could stand to watch this kind of thing?
I've mentioned inspiration. Contemporary poets answer evasively when asked what it is, and if it actually exists. It's not that they've never known the blessing of this inner impulse. It's just not easy to explain something to someone else that you don't understand yourself.
When I'm asked about this on occasion, I hedge the question too. But my answer is this: inspiration is not the exclusive privilege of poets or artists generally. There is, has been, and will always be a certain group of people whom inspiration visits. It's made up of all those who've consciously chosen their calling and do their job with love and imagination. It may include doctors, teachers, gardeners - and I could list a hundred more professions. Their work becomes one continuous adventure as long as they manage to keep discovering new challenges in it. Difficulties and setbacks never quell their curiosity. A swarm of new questions emerges from every problem they solve. Whatever inspiration is, it's born from a continuous "I don't know."
There aren't many such people. Most of the earth's inhabitants work to get by. They work because they have to. They didn't pick this or that kind of job out of passion; the circumstances of their lives did the choosing for them. Loveless work, boring work, work valued only because others haven't got even that much, however loveless and boring - this is one of the harshest human miseries. And there's no sign that coming centuries will produce any changes for the better as far as this goes.
And so, though I may deny poets their monopoly on inspiration, I still place them in a select group of Fortune's darlings.
At this point, though, certain doubts may arise in my audience. All sorts of torturers, dictators, fanatics, and demagogues struggling for power by way of a few loudly shouted slogans also enjoy their jobs, and they too perform their duties with inventive fervor. Well, yes, but they "know." They know, and whatever they know is enough for them once and for all. They don't want to find out about anything else, since that might diminish their arguments' force. And any knowledge that doesn't lead to new questions quickly dies out: it fails to maintain the temperature required for sustaining life. In the most extreme cases, cases well known from ancient and modern history, it even poses a lethal threat to society.
This is why I value that little phrase "I don't know" so highly. It's small, but it flies on mighty wings. It expands our lives to include the spaces within us as well as those outer expanses in which our tiny Earth hangs suspended. If Isaac Newton had never said to himself "I don't know," the apples in his little orchard might have dropped to the ground like hailstones and at best he would have stooped to pick them up and gobble them with gusto. Had my compatriot Marie Sklodowska-Curie never said to herself "I don't know", she probably would have wound up teaching chemistry at some private high school for young ladies from good families, and would have ended her days performing this otherwise perfectly respectable job. But she kept on saying "I don't know," and these words led her, not just once but twice, to Stockholm, where restless, questing spirits are occasionally rewarded with the Nobel Prize.
Poets, if they're genuine, must also keep repeating "I don't know." Each poem marks an effort to answer this statement, but as soon as the final period hits the page, the poet begins to hesitate, starts to realize that this particular answer was pure makeshift that's absolutely inadequate to boot. So the poets keep on trying, and sooner or later the consecutive results of their self-dissatisfaction are clipped together with a giant paperclip by literary historians and called their "oeuvre" ...
I sometimes dream of situations that can't possibly come true. I audaciously imagine, for example, that I get a chance to chat with the Ecclesiastes, the author of that moving lament on the vanity of all human endeavors. I would bow very deeply before him, because he is, after all, one of the greatest poets, for me at least. That done, I would grab his hand. "'There's nothing new under the sun': that's what you wrote, Ecclesiastes. But you yourself were born new under the sun. And the poem you created is also new under the sun, since no one wrote it down before you. And all your readers are also new under the sun, since those who lived before you couldn't read your poem. And that cypress that you're sitting under hasn't been growing since the dawn of time. It came into being by way of another cypress similar to yours, but not exactly the same. And Ecclesiastes, I'd also like to ask you what new thing under the sun you're planning to work on now? A further supplement to the thoughts you've already expressed? Or maybe you're tempted to contradict some of them now? In your earlier work you mentioned joy - so what if it's fleeting? So maybe your new-under-the-sun poem will be about joy? Have you taken notes yet, do you have drafts? I doubt you'll say, 'I've written everything down, I've got nothing left to add.' There's no poet in the world who can say this, least of all a great poet like yourself."
The world - whatever we might think when terrified by its vastness and our own impotence, or embittered by its indifference to individual suffering, of people, animals, and perhaps even plants, for why are we so sure that plants feel no pain; whatever we might think of its expanses pierced by the rays of stars surrounded by planets we've just begun to discover, planets already dead? still dead? we just don't know; whatever we might think of this measureless theater to which we've got reserved tickets, but tickets whose lifespan is laughably short, bounded as it is by two arbitrary dates; whatever else we might think of this world - it is astonishing.
But "astonishing" is an epithet concealing a logical trap. We're astonished, after all, by things that deviate from some well-known and universally acknowledged norm, from an obviousness we've grown accustomed to. Now the point is, there is no such obvious world. Our astonishment exists per se and isn't based on comparison with something else.
Granted, in daily speech, where we don't stop to consider every word, we all use phrases like "the ordinary world," "ordinary life," "the ordinary course of events"... But in the language of poetry, where every word is weighed, nothing is usual or normal. Not a single stone and not a single cloud above it. Not a single day and not a single night after it. And above all, not a single existence, not anyone's existence in this world.
It looks like poets will always have their work cut out for them.
Translated from Polish by Stanislaw Baranczak and Clare Cavanagh
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(no subject)
Oct. 22nd, 2005 | 10:12 pm
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(no subject)
Sep. 11th, 2005 | 04:08 pm
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The colour game
Jun. 16th, 2005 | 07:27 pm
mood: artistic
music: Oasis - Live Forever
Each colour reminds me of someone I know. Take a guess to see if you're in here. Oh, some colours remind me of more than one person. ^ - ^
1. Emerald Green
2. Brick Red - Greg
3. Indigo - Safeen
4. Sienna - Owen
5. Coral - Will
6. Honeydew
7. Chocolate - Safeen
8. Cobalt Blue
9. Khaki - David
10. Tomato - Amanda
11. Orchid
12. Seagreen - Ant
13. Canary Yellow - Teresa
14. Powder Blue
15. Gold
16. Midnight Blue
17. Indian Red - Liisa
18. Plum - Gunjan
19. Seashell white - Katie R
20. China Blue - Tracy
21. Lemon
22. Mint Cream - Tim
23. Ivory
24. Dark Grey
25. Poppy Red
26. Violet - Tammy
27. Absinthe
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Why my journal is so messed up
Jun. 5th, 2005 | 12:20 am
mood:
amused
:D
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WHY WERE YOU SO SLOW???
May. 30th, 2005 | 07:15 pm
mood:
energetic
I GOT ACCEPTED AT U OF T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(no subject)
May. 29th, 2005 | 12:32 am
mood:
happy
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(no subject)
May. 14th, 2005 | 11:27 am
mood:
relieved
music: silence
After four years, countless emotional ups and downs, I've realize--none of this really matters.
This is not a statement of apathy. I am not declaring to anyone in particular that I do not care about them. Nor should this be taken as an attack, a devaluing of our collective past. I have simply become fully aware of that fact that there are very few things in life I can call truly important. That there are few incidents worth holding grudges over. When all is said and done, I really don't care about the things we've done to hurt each other. To err is human; I've stopped carrying these emotional baggages. I now know what is essential for me. More significantly, I now know who is essential to me. I think this realization is one of the few truths we can ever fully comprehend in this life.
We only have a short amount of time on this earth. I regret every moment I've ever wasted hating/disliking someone when I could have been smiling at the good things, the good people I'm lucky enough to have. In all seriousness, stop wasting time. Life is so unpredictable. Don't find yourself in remorse for things you should have done or the things you should have said. Don't waste time taking those chances. Because you know what happens when you don't do anything about it? Nothing. Nothing happens, and you're left with another "what if". Life is too short for these 'maybes', and tomorrow might never come (yup, I realize how ominous this whole entry sounds). Take the time NOW to say what you want to say.
Think about it, and act. There is no more time to waste. The clock is ticking.
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(no subject)
Apr. 24th, 2005 | 11:21 am
mood:
peaceful
music: Moby - Love Should
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Fractured Thoughts
Apr. 20th, 2005 | 09:50 pm
mood:
and jazzzzzy
music: Ella Fitzgerald - Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
When I sit amidst of my peers, most of the time, I feel out of place. It's like there's somewhere else I should be, or maybe it's just that idea of a tighter community I miss.
I've come to terms with my own inability to socialize. I simply find it near impossible to talk to people to make small-talk with people I don't know very well...it's so uncomfortable. I somehow feel insincere. (That, and most of the time, I find it hard to care for people and their activities right from the beginning of an acquaintance. Thus it's hard to act like I do.)
On the other hand, I'm so cool with certain people...cooooool~
But those people are few and far between :D ..Wait...wrong emoticon :(
I guess I just need to be very relaxed...
Hmm. I don't feel like doing anything in particular right now, although, I feel restless.
There is one thing I'd like to do: scream at the top of my lungs!!!!!!!!!
DEEP BREATHING.
This entry doesn't make much sense, hmm, I guess that says a lot about my thought process.
:P
I want to lie on a couch in a completely dark room with a friend and talk about anything that comes up again. Ask me anything in a dark room and I'm likely to answer it, especially if it's 3 a.m.
Alright, I'm too distracted by this song to write anymore...
End of thoughts.
